Our founding fathers represent the greatest minds ever aligned by a noble purpose in the history of mankind. In their prescience, they built a nation of freedom, industry, and fearless innovation.
Is it a coincidence that the Luther Burger (a cheeseburger with a donut bun) and invention of human flight share a birth nation? You can't run this fast without leaving some people behind.
We're currently in negotiations with Canada and former president Bill Clinton to broker an update to NAFTA that allows all our gifts to reach our oppressed brethren in Canada. We'll update the site as talks progress.